Promise but yet empty promise

What is that you don't touch, and break easily? yup, promise, that it. lately it is not as good as anything else there is to good for.

I used to keep all my promise, especially to my friend. Hmm, Be on time to play ball, be on time when wanna hang out, I don't mind reaching early in those day. Saying I will train hard to improve, yes indeed I improve, defeated the one I wanna defeat. Most of it, It is just in sport(No mean to brag).

Now, in college life, people change's. Especially people once close with you. They will never be the same like before, even me. Now that I don't meet them often, They tend forget me and goes on, Well, i hate to admit this, but this is life. People don't wait, people don't hold on to what they have. Stupidly, why do I....

Well, the truth always make people feel uneasy(especially the bible told us so, devil makes us feel that we are "ok", we are right, but actualy we are not.), the truth make them feel unwanted, BUT no, when we speak the truth, they will still wanna complain that the truth we speak is fake(wrong) and theirs is right!!!!! WTH!!! You can hear them talk about stuff they wanna do so much, and not putting any effort in it. Suck to have people like this, PLS!!! do the talk, don't just talk the talk. Once or twice you don't do it, understandable. More then that, I(Edwin) started losing faith in you. Seriously, you do it few times, ENOUGH!

I admit, i break my friend before(i apologize and try not to do it anymore), but you keep doing it again, ready to be forgiven????? . I will not say much as I have not reach a certain level to speak that way, But seriously, if you wanna do it so much, talk less, do more!!!!

Grenade

Every time Bruno mars sings "I will catch a grenade for you"

I was seriously caught by the voice and also the lyric!

I just can't imagine who will do it to.

Now that I realize, people who are in love.

Seriously, IN lOVE!!!!

I once thought I can sacrifice anything for this girl, but things don't work out the way I plan.

By just thinking, Won't make any difference in life, So to say, I am Failure, yup, FAILURE!!!!

Funny thing is, after sharing with my freind. I can't just forget her the way I once use to forget.

It is like, hoping one day, everything will turn into place.

Freaking lazy

Don know what to say lah.....

Just that, easily get frustrated, easily get irritate

Unlike high school life, you can tell anything to anybody knowing that he will be a good listener even though his or she is not.....

Now a days, hardly you find anyone willing to listen to what you wanna say.

Everyone will be like asking "YO, WATZZUP, HOW YOU, HEY, HI" and then off to their own duties..... hehehehe

the sad part of the whole idea was, you got no one to turn to, no one to tell it to, what i mean i s problem. alway thinking about it make self kinda sick.

The good part is, we learn how to think, how to convince ourself that this or that matter is not as big as we thought.

Then come FB, hmmmmm.........

We use to sit together with friend talking our own stories and understand it, laugh about it, joke about it, and exchange ideas or own thought. But now adays we don talk like we use to talk, we post it in "FB", there are plenty of friend will comment it, it make us feel good, knowing that people notice, people comment, exchanging thought and all. But, when friend meet up, we don talk about it, because it is already say in FB, comment it again won't and also knowing that you are long winded....:) just a thought:)

Yeah.... Hehe:)

It been quite some time that I did not even wanna write or blog my blog...:)

Nvm about that, I would my best to write something of me(knowing no body will read sound like a waste, but who care, I just write...:))

Hm... let see, i just finish my 4 week posting at the hospital Serdang and a student nurse:) thing are getting more and more interesting. We get to see real open wound, with real diabetic gangrene ulcer foot(some of the patient), real bloody scene, and real job to be handle. And of course, exam is just around the corner.....:)

Thing are getting laid back. I don't feel the fear i used to. For example: preparing for a fight when Some one pisses me off, with some feeling of fear yet, not ended up a fight at the end of the day( this won't be nice, because even I my self haven been fighting ever since I was in primary) sort of make a oath to myself that I won't fight. And I am still keeping it now:)

about promise, i sort confuse myself by promising and then not happening, I hated it when I take thing for granted, knowing that everything will turn out orderly without me working hard for it. some thing has to strike, and indeed, it strike. another example of this will be, when I promise some one that i will tell her something, in the end i forget, but she is still thinking about all this time. Feeling guilty won't do much. Waiting for the thing settle is even not in my blood. Now that i am still searching for the right time to say it orderly....... hope it work.

lastly, I guess I just think to much. Thinking is good, but thinking too much is bad. Well, How do I put it, hm........ eg, thinking how a friend would think of me as a??? thnking how would thing turn out to as bad as i ever think, but it turn out to be good...:P this are minor stuff and yet, I can't figure it out.

Yet for the major part will be, "connecting picture" different occasion happen for a reason, it is all connect, A person suddenly hate you, it mean something. hmm, another thing will be "What goes around, comes around" hehe.... hatred, anger, bad thing, what i have done, it will come back to me one day.....:)

What else.........

Friend are alway there, and yet I am still.......
People there i like will alwaybe there too.......

I read it some where. Christian book, saying if u have a burden "Cast it to lord"
Yes, i did pray for that.

And Yes, I am unable to express my self that much, tat is the burden i am having lately.
Who to tell, who will listen, why in the 1st place i would think this way...... lack of word in explaining something, speaking something so unorganize(people would get irritate)

It would be a pleasure tat people tell me about their problem. Does it mean "trust"?

During posting in hosptal. Well people died, it is something common, but I onli get to see 2 died, in one day, tat left me thinking how short can it be....
After a week, I get a message saying one of my freind's father pass away.
It is not that this bothering me or wat....it is just, no matter who, they won't be with us(i mean, the world) for ever so called life.

I am still unable to say which is what, what is why, What to worried......i will stop here,b4 everything turn nonsense:)!

So, this is what happen

I was so sure i got back at the right track with a group of friend, hanging out, chatting, Yum cha!! shock!!! but it seem like whatever i do, is really not enough to what they can accept, in just one day when u say u can't hang out or cancel a day out or something... it is like I have dump them or something, then the next time, they wont call u out for good! haiz.......

I have been thinking whether which one to focus more, or which one to do 1st. So many thing to do in such a little time!!! anyway, i wont exactly post what i want to do in this blog.... but roughly, do it, and then u guys will know it!!! It is better done then say( something like this) hehehehhehe!!!

finally, which i have been thinking lately, people can't always be there for u, it not whether how u earn ur fame then people will respect u. I have done that, it seem like that failing me most of the time! have to change abit of the mindset.... hehe! and lastly, seriously, what i thought, when story change, people change!!! Thanks God, that he show me a way, by using friend around me.

When story change with the people, Onli the story move on, People wont change!! izzit this way???? eheheheh!!! do comment!!!!

Gossip

Well, I have been always looking forward at posting(nursing practical). The bad and good happen at the same time. I guess it always happen that way. Which I must quickly adapt to it.

This thing i realise......... Very Very hurting, Normal, And TRUE!!!!

People have the right to feel offended and able to speak up.... And yet, they uses it differently. I can't say that i didn't do it. Because, unintentionally, i speak up my mind to the other which is "OK".

Here goes nothing, They can act cute, good, nice infront of you, and yet they will go behind ur back and talk crap, ONE THING that gets on my nerve, instead of the truth, they change the story and interpret it more "worst" in order to make things sound interesting. WHICH REALLY SUCKS......

If u are saying the truth, then go ahead....... But if u know that friend of urs is a "big mouth" fellow, Do u think u wan him to know about ur stuff??? this is what i am lucky for, around me, i Don see any of my friend being BIG MOUTH, not now... hopefully, not in the future.

And lastly, if I really done anything wrong, because seriously, some times i don't understand what I did is wrong or right.... SO, pls! personally, find me, tell me(not for advise but for my fault)