It has been a while............

Well, it really has been a while. I write this blog, meet up with friend. Lastly, seen the grave yard of my Grandfather(mother side).

I Remember when I was young, everytime my grandfather was admit to hospital, I feel happy. Not because over my grandfather, but able to meet up all the cousin and uncle. Now I feel so "idiot" to think that way, since the word "hospital" now, is so severe type of case and not a joking matter.

Nvm about that, when I was 12. UPSR was around the corner. I woke up early one day, just nice my Mom enter my room, while I was still sitting up from my bed. Blurly, And i listen to my mom. With her voice telling me " Gong Gong pass away this morning" sadly. I don't really understand the whole situation that time. NOW I DO.

If not mistaken, I miss few days of class. Heading straight to Perak, Sitiawan. where my mom's use to live, which is my hometown. Early in the morning, we live the house(KL). On our way back, my mom nv really talk, I don really know why. We, the three brother were playing till tired, in the car, and then sleep. Like usual......

When we were about to reach our hometown, we woke up. after my dad make a left turn. I start noticing that my grand's parent place were pack with people, in and out, full. My mom left the car, I remember i was kinda timid to enter a house full of people, as alway, I stood beside my mom, follow her as she walk in.

As I enter the living room, I saw casket, white clothes coveing most of the stuff, TV set, Table. Except chair. I heard my Grandma crying. I din'nt really care, like I say, I don't really understand the whole situation. Finally saw my cousin, run toward them and start talk and play.

My mom stood beside casket, touching the casket with one hand, and another coveing her mouth. As I observe carefully, she start crying, which is a very rare scence. Only, that moment, inside me, deep down, start feeling something undescribable. Up untill now, I still can't really undertand and explain it.

During the funeral, I was called to wear this white attire, with a pointy hat, everything was white. Traditionally, we were told to walk that place, few Km, I was YOUNG, I just did what I was told.
Those were the day, I was at all, not a sensitive person. Not a question ever appear in my mind.

But now, still searching for an answer to describe that feeling. So yesterday, I went back to my grandfather graveyard, AFTER 7 YEAR......... clean it, swipe it, wipe. Yes, respect is the only word came up in my mind.

Do tell me, u read this blog, write something beside my blog, there is a chat box, do tell me........

hahahaha!!

I guess i was just too caught up by my emotion. DAMN..... I will try my best to nv let it happen. hopefully!

I guess seeing people around me "happy" can make me "smile" which cover all sadness.... hehehehe!

MUST alway remind my self not to be blur over matter which are important.

MUST alway remind my self to let it happen which the ways it should be(feeling happen when some one is interested, not because u can impress them)(BE YOURSELF)

Young adulthood

There no certain set of age in young adulthood is completed. Many people in their 30^th still show their adolescence problem. Acceptance of adult responsibility requires important decision. He most crucial are choosing marriage partner and a career. Young adult year usually begin with a goal or hope. Sheehy (1976) labeled the stage “ the trying twenties”.

Take inventory and see how you rate in this list of attributes of maturity.

· Ability to think of yourself. If you are mature, you can make up your own mind based on your own values. You may seek other opinion, but the final decision will be your own.

· Willingness to accept responsibility for decisions. If you make a mistake, you can recognize your weakness and accept the blame.

· Control of fear and anger. Although you still have worries and irritations, you have better control. You no longer panic or fly into a rage or burst into tears.

· Willingness to work. Rather than shirk responsibility you want to contribute to society and become financially independent. You prefer not to rely on parent and relative for money.

· Capacity for sexual love and lasting love and lasting relationships. You are able to show your inner feeling and accept the feeling of another person in a deep and intimate relationship.

which state are you all in? all the best!

Thing i am Gratefull about!!!!(take 5 minute to read this)

Before CNY, many stuff happen, many unpleasant stuff happen, which i nv really wanna tell out!! hehehehehe!!! not my style... anyway, glad that now, everything has turn out fine....
And yet, Can't believe stuff changes so fast, Eg: perception, feeling, though, idea....... many more.
Certainly, Love, hope, faith can't change in an instant, which i am really glad of!!!


Then i came across, friend(church friend). They really do inspired me, in some ways. Things they thought, thing they do, thing they talk!! It is just wonderfull, it is a privelege to meet them and get to know them!!!


Anyway, yet still the moody attitute start appearing on and off....... which is nv a good thing for me! When i don talk, or laugh. It is not that it is not funny. just that, some part of me can't laugh!



CNY, well, Happy Chinese New Year........ to my family, friend, and all... even though i can't meet up. Yet, i am here to wish u....



During the CNY play some fire work...... all which cost around 300++

My uncle and our conversation.

Us: auntie: i want the dragon egg type(firework)

Auntie:zai ah, go get some.....

amounted to 300++

Uncle: (look at us) 300+ onli ah, u all enough anot...

Us: enough loh!!!!!(he buy, we make less noise)

Many photes were taken(my mom and bro wanna make a photo album) with our long long far away cousin(neighbourhood), and our cousin(both side(dad and mom)). Most of it were happy, even though the weather were freaking hot, but all was worth it!

Many year i bet(gamble), but this year may be the best.... guess i played alot with big money and stuff like that. Anyway.... i drink some Achohol(shivas) erm... with my cousin(i think) kinda like that feeling, i mean, some time. Not alway, but that day was NICE...........(after that drink)

which is sinful.....

Then Came down to my house gathering... on my dad side! Great meeting my Uncle and auntie... Ang Pow were nv a matter, weather it is big or small... as long as i get one, i am certainly happy enough.. Guess wat, one of my cousin have 9 kid... Finally, after so long, i remember their name, start from the edlest to the youngest. Abigail, Ariel, Laura, Liana, Sophie, Zoel, Zachariah, Sarah, and lastly Irael....... hahahah!! there are many more!!

I guess all this really happy stuff, and very successfull(the gathering)!

END OF CNY....

Another story.....

Uncle scolding the son

Uncle: And then WAT???, you nv think this thing through...

This is exactly wat happen when u were in love, u Had her, and then u have no where to go.

Son: I would have figure something out..

Uncle: NO, if her friend haven seen u, they would just curse u.

Son: i am just following my feeling

Uncle:izzit ur own feeling, or izzit a feeling that some one cast upon u.

Son: stop it..

Uncle: I am begging u, It is time to start thinking inward, And time to start asking ur self the big question, WHO ARE YOU, AND WHAT DO YOU WANT?

son: "shout"

For ur info, i change abit of this conversation, It is actually ntg to do with girl, i just put it this way!!!!!! when i was watching it, i was actually imagine this uncle shouting at me, with: and then wat? AND Who are you? this two were the point I am trying to bring up myself...... hope it help other!!!

Thank the Lord for the safe journey, wonderfull friend gathering(church), may God continue to bless us all!

It is just merely matter.....

For so many year...... pain, happy, sad, all kind of moment have been encounter without much problem. It seem that lately stuff are even harder(i guess because we grew older). Nvm about that, many time i think, i wanna be some one strong in the eye of my friend, some one dicipline, and some one important. BUT now, i get to realise that, i am to them are merely matter, who cares rites..................

Anyway, get sick lately, due to over tired, played too much.... sore throat at first, but it seem tat it causes me to have fever..... and guess wat, i told my mother abotu it, she start nagging nagging then onli give panedol, i guess this is how she show her care..

Life cannot live without faith, love, and hope........ read it some where. i know is the truth.... some how, it is hard.... to even have faith or hope or love from ur friend!!!

I am not emoing.... it just the thought all along!!!!!

YAF

Recently, attend a YAF talk, well, YAF stand for young adult fellowship. So, they started the topic, "Courtship to Life partnership". Which i really think it help us, ME alot. Erm.... i don know where to start. But i will begin with, Dating, to Marriage

A relationship started when:

Begin with the man being intentional,

conducted under the accountability of others(family, church, and wise friend),

ALWAYS HAS MARRIAGE AS IT GOAL.

Note: there is no such thing as perfect match. So, it is a myth to think u should date long enough to get enough imformation , or to date enough people to find out the perfect one.

Get in to this Courtship lvl fast, and get out of it quick by turning it into Life-partnership

hahahaha!!! quote from: Pastor Kek. very usefull!! for me.......

Up and Down

Walao, thought stuff would happen as it goes by the smooth path......

Who knows stuff happen along the way, and this is what i have almost forgotten!

Lucky it happen now, thank God that he is able to show the path so soon, as matter haven got any serious or worst yet.

Seriously, if i ever SAY or DO anything wrong, pls!!! tell me! don go around talking my back.. hehehehe!! tell, text me, facebook me, or even, msn me!! do tell!! pls! thank ah!!